TLC Services

My caregiving story

Once upon a time, one of my caring colleagues told me how lucky I was to be experiencing such sacred quality time with my husband.  This was immediately after my husband’s first open heart surgery, and my reflexive reaction was, how insensitive could she be? He had been discharged early, because I was a nurse, and was still in fairly critical condition. I was so worried, so busy caring for him, so afraid of making a mistake, and so exhausted that I was barely hanging on. Later, her meaning came to me. For the first time in our married lives, we were not working, we were spending nearly 24/7 together, and we were traveling the sacred path of healing (and in his case, curing, as he made a full recovery.) I had to make a decision nurses must make over and over: did I want to be busy, stressed and task oriented? Or did I want to be compassionate, present, and relationship oriented?

My aging parents

A few years later, my parents were in their eighties and needed a lot more help to remain in their own home. With Dad’s help and my nursing support, my Mom was able to live and die at home.  Dad lived to be 93, the last 6 years living with my husband and me. My Dad was loving, sweet, considerate, and until the end, alert and only mildly confused. Still, my oh my, some of those days were highly stressful. His fragile medical status and frequent health crises offered too many opportunities to use my nursing skills.

Being a nurse and helping my parents

As a family caregiver, I was so grateful for my nursing knowledge, not only of illness and injury, but also about home modifications, accessing home care, and providing care coordination. I was well-prepared for family caregiving because throughout my career, my work has been with family caregivers and their loved ones. I have nursed people with both traumatic injuries and with chronic effects of aging in acute care, inpatient rehabilitation, home care, long term care, my private practice and my programs for caregivers. For many years at the C.A.R.E. Program, my ‘patients’ were nurses who were out of work on workers’ compensation or long term disability. My nursing experience provided the knowledge I needed; but my wisdom came from my patients and clients, their families, and my family. Families know what works and what doesn’t.

So, I chose to be a healing presence, compassionate, and family oriented not only when caring for my husband but a few years later when caring for my mom and then my dad. It wasn’t easy. Tasks still had to get done. My expectations and those of my family and their healthcare providers were often unrealistic. Resources of time, money, support, and needed knowledge were woefully inadequate.

Now I’m here to help you

I learned a lot along the way, through my work, my caregiving experiences with my own family, and throughout my journey with holistic nurses and healers. I know first-hand the joys, stressors, and fatigue of family caregiving. I would do it again – without a doubt – but I would wish for more support and less burnout. That’s what I am offering to you: the caregiving wisdom, creative solutions, and stress relief tools you can use to create well-being and quality family time with your loved ones.

In peace,

Gale